Mr. Sapiens: Hello! This is Homo Sapiens’ residence, how may I help you?
Receptionist: Good Evening Mr. Sapiens! My name is Bowels, calling from GI system management. You called us this morning to collect your house waste but unfortunately our men were unable to clear it.
Mr. Sapiens: I was about to call you to find out why the waste was still in the house.
Receptionist: The machine our men came with could not clear the waste because it was dry and hard. Not to talk about the terrible stench associated with it.
Mr. Sapiens: You see, the evacuation of my waste is always difficult or infrequent. Has the drying and hardening of the waste anything to do with this?
Receptionist: Yes sir! The infrequent or difficult evacuation of waste (bowels) is what my company calls Constipation. The slow movement of the waste materials (fecal material) through your large intestines causes fluids to be increasingly absorbed from it as there is an extended stay. Consequently, becoming dry and hard resulting in constipation.
Mr. Sapiens: How fast does it take the waste to reach my bowels?
Receptionist: Approximately 16 hours after a meal is taken in. The food stays in the stomach for 2-3hours and 3-10hours in the small intestines for digestion and assimilation. It is then passed on to the large intestines.
Mr. Sapiens: Can’t this longer stay in the large intestines be avoided considering the associated problems?
Receptionist: It can. Actually, that is when you come in.
Mr. Sapiens: How?
Receptionist: By responding to the normal reflexes/calls we send you when waste is available for evacuation. The information I gathered on you indicates that, you have not been picking up calls from our company often. This has been going on for some time now.
Mr. Sapiens: That is true. Your calls mostly come in when I am in a meeting, a gathering or during occupational and social activities.
Receptionist: Anytime you ignore the call, the period of stay of the waste is extended and allows more fluids to be absorbed. What is more, it is not our fault not to know when to call and when not to call. You have not given a time each day to call you.
Mr. Sapiens: Need I tell you what to do? Isn’t it your responsibility?
Receptionist: Regarding evacuation of bowels? I’m afraid NO! Unlike digestion which is carried out without your permission (involuntary), evacuation of bowels just like eating requires your permission (voluntary). Imagine if we evacuated your bowels when you were on a rendezvous with your Beloved.
Mr. Sapiens: I do understand now. I am sorry if I sounded angry earlier. How do I communicate the time to you?
Receptionist: By developing regular bowel habits; the same time each day for a bowel movement can help train us (your large intestines) to respond routinely to the evacuation process.
(Another phone rings in the background)
Mr. Sapiens: I am afraid I have to go. I need to pick this call from my Beloved. I hope you understand. Let’s continue this at a later time. Thank you.
(Hangs up before the receptionist could say goodbye)
Reception: Hmmmmm….. Imagine that! You would definitely come back.
The call, to be continued……………